Hen's parties … the female equivalent of the night that has caused many a new husband to have his wife not talk to him on the day of their wedding! As women learn to let loose and find inventive ways to celebrate their last night of 'freedom', hen's parties have become wilder. But what really happens at a hen's party? We check out the gory details.

Who, what, when?
The basic details of hen's parties vary enormously. It might be a small gathering of only her closest friends, or a large group of people in a 'more the merrier' type of atmosphere. The modern hen's party is as varied as the modern buck's party. It can take place at one of her friend's homes, at a pub or dance club, at a strip club (male or female strippers), a restaurant or café, or even at the beach or a park. Usually hen's parties now take place several days or a week before the wedding - there is almost always alcohol involved, and hangovers and wedding dresses are the least compatible partners in the world.

Hen's nights are often about indulgence - about doing whatever it is that makes you feel good, and damn the consequences! Well, mostly … if doing something won’t hurt anybody's feelings in light of the full truth, then the consequences can be safely damned. Hen's parties are seldom like those 'Girls Gone Wild' videos that can be so scary!

Talk, talk, talk - it's only talk
Girls usually go wild with talking at hen's nights … and given the focus of the next few days is making the bride-to-be's relationship a permanent fixture in the halls of reality and legality, the focus of all that talk is understandably, men, sex and sex toys.

That said, men have little to fear from hen's nights. The talk about men is usually in general terms - any secrets you have within your relationship are pretty much guaranteed to stay there. Any bitching and whining done is almost a competitive thing, rather than an in-depth therapy session. Most of the talk about men is focused on the fact that soon, one of their own will need to deal with one of the opposite sex on a permanent basis - and she'll need all the background info she can get to make that successful!

Questions asked and answered at hen's nights
Even so, hen's nights are traditionally places where sex is taboo no longer. With the 'prodding' of a scantily clad man dancing away in front of the women, or even just the encouragement of too many Apple-Tinis, sex is always a topic on the conversational menu. Here are some questions that are often answered at hen's nights:

• How do you deal with it when one of you wants sex and the other doesn't?
• Is it okay to masturbate if you’re married, and do you have to tell your husband every time?
• What's anal sex like?
• What is watching porn like?
• (Or, for the more advanced candidates) … What are your favourite pornos and why?
• Do you dress up for your man?
• Does light spanking feel good?

Etcetera, etcetera! You won’t usually find women sitting around with tape measures comparing their partner's penis sizes … but they do talk in general terms and offer each other advice about sexual topics.

What doesn’t work gets discussed as much as what does - in the interests of improving the sex life of all. Much of the time, the discussion takes place in completely natural, conversational terms - there is not a heap of crassness or vulgarity.

Do they talk about anything other than sex?
Well, women have a whole range of interests, just like men. Health and dieting, gossiping about people they know and people they don’t, the state of the world and politics, kids and celebrities are often discussion topics at hen's nights.

And anytime sex comes up, the point of the discussion is usually to enjoy their men more than they already do, as well as increasing his pleasure. So there is nothing to be frightened of!